i was vexed and confused last week thinking about what's our status and what is gonna happen etc. I was quite unhappy about having to decide before someone gets hurt and about how i was also unable to let go. Then someone told to just think about what i want and let go of what he wants/feels then everything is actually very simple. I gave him a choice too (or did i?). The point being i've decided and willing to let go if need be:) In the end, i was so relieved like immediately after i became clearer of what i want and decided. I was happy actually. Hopefully he wont get to know, if not he may be upset to hear that i was actually happy about the decision. haha.

Well, later i realised i was a commitment-phobic person, not really keen to be a relationship. I enjoy my freedom, my single-hood and my carefree mode. what am i scared of? well, my traveller mode is to be blamed... hhaha! so let's see how things turn out. "In a relationship" is just a phrase anyway. we're just simply close but not together? or is there any other definition? or a difference in definition?

Then today dora told me her story. i really hope we wont turn out like they did. holding on for 2years before letting go. It's so scary and upsetting... i need to be quick and know my feelings...

我想过一件事不是坏的事
一直对自己坚持爱情的意思
像风没有理由轻轻吹着走
谁爱谁有所谓的对与错
不管时间说着我们在一起有多坎坷
我不敢去证实爱你两个字
不是对自己矜持也不是讽刺
别人都在说我其实很无知
这样的感情被认定很放肆
我很不服我还在想着那件事
如果你已经不能控制每天想我一次如果你因为我而诚实
如果你看我的电影听爱上的cd如果你能带我一起旅行
如果你决定跟随感觉为爱勇敢一次如果你说我们有彼此
如果你会开始相信这般恋爱心情如果你能给我如果的事
如果你会开始相信这般恋爱心情我只要你一件如果的事
我会奋不顾身地去爱你